Tom's story
Things really started to change for me, when I was introduced to Zoe from Launchpad, she’s really helped me over the last six months. She just gets me and knows how to get the best out of me.
I was born in Reading and have lived here all my life. Since school I never really felt that I fitted in – I guess that I’ve always been a bit of an outsider. As a result, I struggled at school and left mainstream education in year 10. Looking back, it’s obvious to me now that I was very unhappy. I think even then I was struggling with my mental health.
I started to dabble with drugs when I was still a teenager. Drugs are hard to avoid in Reading. For a while, I just smoked weed, looking back I think I was trying to self-medicate. I started to drink alcohol soon after this and before long MDMA and cocaine were in the mix too.
I started working at 17. My mental health was becoming more of an issue, but I was able to get a job. I enjoyed working and the money I made meant I could move out of home. I lived with my brother and for a while… things were more-or-less alright.
But having said that I was still using drugs and alcohol as an escape. I felt that I didn’t understand myself and it seemed that the drugs and booze helped me with this struggle.
By the time I reached my mid-20s I was struggling to maintain relationships with people. I did have a girlfriend, but we both lost our jobs and homes. I had to move back in with my parents.
This didn’t last long. We argued – a lot – and I found myself homeless for the first time. Initially I was living out of a bag and sleeping on friends’ sofas. That gets hard quickly. You have no privacy, nowhere to leave things. And it really didn’t help my health. I had a few nights on the streets too, but because this happened in a lockdown, I was given emergency accommodation.
I was still taking drugs and drinking – drinking a lot at this time. But I was put on the council’s Rent Guarantee Scheme * which meant, for a while, I had a roof over my head.
*Reading Borough Council’s Rent Guarantee Scheme matches people who need homes with landlords who have properties to let. The council pay the rent directly to the landlord, in advance. They also guarantee to pay up to six weeks’ rent as a tenancy deposit, to cover costs if the property is damaged by tenants.
But then the landlord decided to sell his house and I just couldn’t find anywhere else to live. I can’t lie, this really set me back. One of the reasons I struggled so much to find anywhere was because when landlords heard I was on benefits, they didn’t want to take me on. Lots of landlords still see people on benefits as having a stigma.
This is how I ended up at Launchpad. Being a Reading lad, I’d heard of Launchpad and I knew that they might be able to help.
I wasn’t expecting Launchpad to offer me somewhere to live! But they did, they offered me a room in one of their houses. When I moved in, I was so chuffed – the people that I was sharing with were brilliant. Having good people around me is so important. Where I was before, I was surrounded by horrible people, I got burgled and there were drugs dealers everywhere. I did not want to be there – but I just didn’t have any choice. Trust me – the temptation to make bad choices was there all the time.
For the first time in a while, with Launchpad, I had some stability.
I was still making a lot of bad decisions, but I wasn’t surrounded by bad people. Change doesn’t happen overnight. And change for me was made harder by ketamine. Ketamine is an easy drug to get, but I know now that if you get addicted, it’s hard to stop.
I’ve now been with Launchpad for two years, but for the first year I didn’t make a lot of progress. I still found it hard to build relationships, I was still taking drugs and I wasn’t taking responsibility for myself – I’d get behind on my rent and rather than deal with it I just avoided the issue.
And for the first year, if I’m honest, I didn’t ‘click’ with the Launchpad team, but despite not making great progress, Launchpad didn’t give up on me.
When I started to work with Zoe things started to improve. I guess I just feel she understands me more and we’ve built up a good relationship.
Zoe is a do-er and she gets straight to the point, and this has been good for me. Working with her has meant I’ve been able to unpick some of the issues I’ve been carrying around and I’ve started to grow as a person.
This started really slowly. At first, we set goals that I could reach quickly – such as starting to engage with people. Simple steps like that. Zoe quickly realised that if I felt overwhelmed that I would shut down, and just go back to the drink and drugs to avoid feeling bad about not doing what people were asking me to.
After we made some progress, I tried going to a drugs rehabilitation group, but being with a group was just too much. However, because Launchpad and ‘Change Grow Live’* work so closely, Zoe was able to arrange for me to meet a counsellor at the Launchpad offices, somewhere I felt comfortable talking.
These may sound like small steps, but they weren’t. They made a massive difference. My life became less chaotic, and I started to consistently take responsibility for myself. I think this type of flexibility that Launchpad offer is just so important. Getting professional support has meant that I’ve been able to massively reduce my use of drugs. And because I’m not wasting so much of my money on drugs, I’ve been able to get to grips with my debt.
All these things have helped with my mental health too. Because of this I’ve been able to start to rebuild relationships – particularly with my mum and I’m so happy about this.
So today, I’m starting to feel ready to move on and to live independently and rely on myself. I can’t tell you how fantastic that makes me feel and how grateful I am about the support I’ve had from Zoe and the whole Launchpad team.
*Change Grow Live (CGL) are nationwide drug rehabilitation charity who have a centre in Reading.
Launchpad’s life-changing work, as outlined in Tom’s story, can only happen with the help of our supporters.